Someone shit on the floor
dude i'm inner monologue high
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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