I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
