Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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