He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
