Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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