I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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