Sry I called you an 8
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
