My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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