we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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