remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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