she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
