And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
