ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
