I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There are leaves in my underwear?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
dude. I can hear the air.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
