i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
