Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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