The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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