Just fell off a train. Bad.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
