So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
