College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
