Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
