Where did you get a picture of my penis
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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