I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
