Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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