the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
