there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He better not be in your backpack
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
