hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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