You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
