once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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