so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
