Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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