if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
