hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
