I'm going to jail i love you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
