I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
