Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
