Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
