Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
