Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
