I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
