it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well you can't waste a boner
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
