guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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