can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
