My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
