so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
