I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
