we're blogging at a bar
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
