fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
