I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
