Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
