the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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