Christians are straight up FREAKS
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
